(1) My sister, even if all he gives you is a pin, frame it, hang it, and always tell him how grateful you are for the pin. It’s just the way the mind of men work – like God. If you are grateful for the slippers, he will buy you heels and maybe from there, a helicopter later. Making him know his efforts are appreciated simply makes him want to do more for you. But if he offers a helicopter before the slippers, hand him over to Bishop Obinim – He is a ragamufian rascal!
(2) He is supposed to be the spiritual head – that makes you the spiritual neck he sits on. Madam!! Pray too. Take your spirituality serious. You see, for the “head” to be cut off, OR, for the “head” to fall, the axe must land on where? – the “neck”. Pray too.
(3) You are about to, or just got married doesn’t mean “throw away your dreams.” It only means relocate your dreams from your father’s house into your man’s grand vision. It only means relocate your dreams from the house of singleness to your joint purpose account. Believe me, if you are not a dreamer, you could never help him build his grand vision, of which you are a part. Please dream. Marriage is NOT a dream-killer, it’s a dream incubator.
(4) My sister. This thing is hard for me to say. Chaii!! (promise me you will still be my friend on Facebook after I say it). I beg you, SEX is NOT a prize for good behaviour. It’s a doze of cement that binds your man to you and you to him at every enjoyment. Marital sex is the point at which your soul melts into his, your thoughts into his and your desires into his. It is NOT to be used as a bait for manipulation or a cane for naughtiness. Wearing tights, jeans, cycling shorts and cordroys to bed is a SIN against the fulfilment of ALL righteousness. Secondly, please it doesn’t matter how much of a novice you think you are – when you get married, show your husband that “the best quality sex is always brewed at home”. Heerh show him things even Adam and Eve did not receive revelation for.
(5) Men always want to be the head. Let them be. But as co-pilot, if you watch on whilst the car goes into a ditch – you will be in it too. My advice? ONLY where the destinies of your man, yourself or children is in jeopardy – take momentary control to restore destinies. Once done, give him back his headship oooo. Give it back. You see, Rebekkah, contrary to what ignorant preachers think, acted in the manner she did with Jacob, to restore an error to the destiny of humankind, that was established in the garden of Eden by Adam and Eve (that’s a deeper subject for another day).
(6) Please don’t make the mistake of thinking “the way to a man’s heart is through his belly” – what if he is always fasting (like I do) or what if the restaurant near his workplace offers more sumptuous delights than your kitchen does? No! Everyman has a way to his heart. It may be praise for his work, or intimacy (don’t be surprized, some men are more touchy-feely than women), or it may even be little acts of kindness to him. Whatever it is – FIND it before you marry him ooo, Tomm!! But learn to cook too OK. A hungry man is always going to be an angry man….
(7) This one too is hard but has to be said. Hmmm!! Please please please! Some men like coke bottles, some like fanta bottles and some also like beer from the mug. Do all you can, to keep the combination of shape and colour he met you in. Please, the phrases “genetic causes” and “body changes after birth” is still at the debating stage of being added to men’s vocabulary. If you know all these things, then my sister. “WORK IT”. As a woman, you may never go back to the size 8 you were before the kids came along. That’s nature. But at least try and manage going back to 10/12 but please, not 18/20. Bible says “the eyes of man are never full” – and my advice is this: your husband was once attracted to you – don’t suddenly substitute the basis of that attraction with Spiritual Warfare – Not every prayer goes to heaven oo!! Mmm!
(8) If you won’t be massaging his feet in marriage, don’t start it in courtship. If you won’t be cooking his favourite dish every weekend, don’t let your mum cook it every weekend for him to visit and eat during courtship. What He Sees, Is What He Expects (WHSIWHE). No deviations please. Men think in straight lines and as soon as a deviation comes up – you, you are finished!
(9) Do you know how you can make your man hear you a 100% of the time? When you speak to a man, DON’T speak to him with the heart or with emotions first. Speak first to him with Logical reasoning. Tell him how you got to “W” by following the timing and order of “A..B..C…” before you start telling him how you liked “W” because its pink and yellow combination colours make it “heart-warming”. Speak to our brain first.
(10) My pastor Rev. Dr James Nanjo once asked me the question “if I gave you $1million, what is the first thing you’d do with it”. I started running my mouth on what I will spend it on. Wrong. “Receive it with both hands first” he said to me. Mmmm. Sister, Grab the husband God has blessed you with. Possess him spirit, body and soul. It doesn’t mean control him or be over-possessive. It means, make up your mind, he is the best out there for you, and you will treasure and KEEP him. Be determined that should he slip out of your hands (God forbid) – it won’t be because of you. Love him “FANTABRUTALLY” because love wins all things. Give him a reason he must always look forward to coming back home.
PLEASE: This is NOT a Gospel according to St Marricke. Its just my thoughts Oooo! So please dont use anything here to start drawing relationship contracts. Men especially. Behave yourselves!! I pray this is a blessing to someone out there.